Billy Mack: Let's get pissed and watch porn• Movie: Love Actually • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Billy Mack: I left Elton John's, where there were a hefty number of half-naked chicks with their mouths open, to hang out with you, at Christmas. It's a terrible mistake, Chubs, but you turn out to be the f**king love of my life. And to be honest, despite all my complaining, we have had a wonderful life.
• Movie: Love Actually • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Well. Thanks for that, Bill.
Billy Mack: For what?
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Well, for actually giving a real answer to a question. Doesn't often happen here on "Radio Watford" I can tell you.
Billy Mack: Ask me anything you like, I'll tell you the truth.
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Uh... best shag you've ever had?
Billy Mack: Britney Spears.
Mikey, DJ interviewer: Wow!
Billy Mack: No, only kidding. She was rubbish.
• Movie: Love Actually • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Billy Mack: Hiya kids. Here is an important message from your Uncle Bill. Don't buy drugs. Become a pop star, and they give you them for free.
• Movie: Love Actually • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Billy Mack: When I was young and successful, I was greedy and foolish, and now I'm left with no one. Wrinkled and alone.
• Movie: Love Actually • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Billy Mack: Christmas is a time for people with someone they love in their lives.
• Movie: Love Actually • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Parky: This must be a very exciting moment for you, fighting for the Christmas number one. How's it looking so far?
Billy Mack: Very bad indeed. Blue are outselling me five to one. But I'm hoping for a late surge. And if I reach number one, I promise to sing the song stark naked on TV on Christmas Eve.
Parky: Do you mean that?
Billy Mack: Well of course I mean it, Michael. Do you want a preview? You old flirt.
[stands in front of Parky and flashes at him]
Parky: *That'll* never make number one!
• Movie: Love Actually • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Mikey, DJ interviewer: How do you think this new record compares to your old, classic stuff?
Billy Mack: Oh come on Mikey, you know as well as I do the record's crap. But wouldn't it be great if number one this Christmas wasn't some smug teenager but an old ex-heroin addict searching for a comeback at any price? Those young popsters come Christmas will be stretched out naked with a cute bird balancing on their balls and I'll be stuck in some dingy flat with me manager Joe, ugliest man in the world, f**king miserable because our f**king gamble didn't pay off. So if you believe in Father Christmas, children, like your Uncle Billy does, buy my festering turd of a record. And particularly enjoy the incredible crassness of the moment when we try to squeeze an extra syllable into the fourth line.
Mikey, DJ interviewer: I think you're referring to "If you really love Christmas..."
Billy Mack: "Come on and let it snow." Ouch.
• Movie: Love Actually • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 8
