Bart: You know, you really had me scared for a moment there.
Ollie: Aww, who knew. All these years you were nursing a little stage fright!
Bart: Not that smart ass.
 • Movie: Jersey Girl • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Ollie: No, that's okay, I'll stay here and do the dishes. I only cooked, why shouldn't I clean?
Bart: Suit yourself. Don't wash that pan, I got a nice layer of juice built up for the pork roll, and I don't want you scrubbing it off.
Ollie: That juice is called grease, dad. It's bad for you. It clogs your arteries.
Bart: It's called juice. And it greases your father's insides so he can better swallow the s**t his son feeds him twice a year, when he can be bothered to come to visit him.
 • Movie: Jersey Girl • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Bart: If Gertie could see the s**t you've been pulling.
Ollie: Gertie can't see anything, Dad. She's dead.
Bart: That's right, she is. But you aint. And neither is that kid.
 • Movie: Jersey Girl • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Ollie: Come on, Dad. Don't you wanna live alone again?
Bart: Not as much as I don't wanna die alone.
 • Movie: Jersey Girl • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Bart: Try acting like a father, s**thead.
 • Movie: Jersey Girl • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Bart: Sun even shines on a dog's ass some days.
Greenie: You gettin' a dog?
 • Movie: Jersey Girl • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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