Jake: She was a fun ride, no doubt about it, but she is a previously owned vehicle and I'm into that new car smell.
Jessica (as Clive): You asshole!
Jessica (as Clive): Whoever left these towels here is an asshole.
 • Movie: The Hot Chick • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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April: Ok, let's make a list of all the people that hate Jessica.
Lulu: You know what would be a shorter list? All the people that don't hate Jessica.
Jessica: You bitch!
 • Movie: The Hot Chick • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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April: Uh, Jessica has a... problem.
Ling Ling: She's only going to make us wait an hour this time.
Lulu: What about the class trip to Six Flags. She took so long in the bathroom we missed the bus.
Ling Ling: Our parents had to drive three hours to pick us up.
Jessica (in Clive's body): I had my period, OK!
 • Movie: The Hot Chick • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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April: So... do you really have a penis?
Jessica (in Clive's body): I don't think you get the gravity of the situation here.
April: Can I see it?
Jessica (in Clive's body): April!
April: Sorry... can I see it?
[Jessica gives April a dirty look]
April: Come on, it's not every day that your best friend grows a penis.
 • Movie: The Hot Chick • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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