Andy Stitzer: She had hands as big as Andre the Giant's, and she had an Adam's apple as big as her balls. • Movie: The 40 Year Old Virgin • Rating: 9.7 / 10 • Permalink
Andy Stitzer: I hope you have a big trunk... because I'm puttin' my bike in it.
• Movie: The 40 Year Old Virgin • Rating: 9.8 / 10 • Permalink
Andy Stitzer: There were two sides to that billboard, and they both hurt equally.
• Movie: The 40 Year Old Virgin • Rating: 6.3 / 10 • Permalink
[about Andy telling Trish he's a virgin]
Andy Stitzer: What if she laughs at me?
Cal: Then you punch her in the f**king head.
• Movie: The 40 Year Old Virgin • Rating: 9.2 / 10 • Permalink
Andy Stitzer: [looking at an anatomy model of a vagina] Where do you put the penis?
• Movie: The 40 Year Old Virgin • Rating: 6.0 / 10 • Permalink
Andy Stitzer: I'm a virgin. I always have been.
• Movie: The 40 Year Old Virgin • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Andy Stitzer: I dated this girl for a while... she was really a... nasty freak. She just loved to... get down with... sex all the time. It was like... anytime of day... she was like, "Yeah, let's go! I'm so nasty!" And I'd be nailing her and she'd be like, "Oh, you're nailing me! cool!"
• Movie: The 40 Year Old Virgin • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Andy Stitzer: Well, if you loved her so much, why did you cheat on her?
Jay: [sobbing violently] Because! Duh! I'm insecure! Can't you tell?
• Movie: The 40 Year Old Virgin • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Cal: That's a good looking grandma! My grandma looks like Jack Palance.
Andy Stitzer: Well, she's no Jack Palance.
Cal: No. If Jack Palance looked like that lady I would want to f**k Jack Palance right now.
• Movie: The 40 Year Old Virgin • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Cal: Before I knew, I thought you were a serial killer.
Andy Stitzer: Oh.
[chuckles]
Cal: No, I'm serious.
• Movie: The 40 Year Old Virgin • Rating: 2.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 21