Alan Garner: Ha ha! Drivin' drunk. Classic.
 • Movie: The Hangover • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Alan Garner: Hey what's that on your arm?
Stu Price: Oh my God - Phil, you were in the hospital last night.
Phil Wenneck: Yeah, I guess I was.
Alan Garner: Are you okay?
 • Movie: The Hangover • Rating: 2.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Alan Garner: Counting cards isn't illegal. It's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane... Maybe since 9/11 when everyone got so damn sensitive. Thanks a lot Bin Laden!
 • Movie: The Hangover • Rating: 9.6 / 10 • Permalink

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Stu Price: You do know counting cards is illegal, right?
Alan Garner: It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon. Like masturbating in an airplane.
Phil Wenneck: I'm pretty sure that's illegal, too.
 • Movie: The Hangover • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Alan Garner: It would be so cool if I could breast-feed.
 • Movie: The Hangover • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Alan Garner: Tigers love pepper.
 • Movie: The Hangover • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Stu Price: Oh my God, I can't believe I gave away my grandmother's Holocaust ring to a complete stranger.
Alan Garner: Yeah, I didn't even know they gave out rings during the Holocaust.
 • Movie: The Hangover • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Doug: I always wondered why they were called roofies. Cause you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. They should call em groundies.
Alan Garner: Or rapies.
 • Movie: The Hangover • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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Alan Garner: [while picking up a friend at the school where he works] Did you have to park this close?
Doug Billings: Yeah, why?
Alan Garner: I just... I can't be here.
Doug Billings: What do you mean?
Alan Garner: I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a church... or a Chuckeee Cheeze.
 • Movie: The Hangover • Rating: Unrated • Permalink

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Alan Garner: Not at the table, Jose!
 • Movie: The Hangover • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

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