Lois Einhorn: Alright, Ventura. Make it quick.Ace Ventura: I found a rare stone at the bottom of Snowflake's tank. It belonged to a 1984 AFC Championship ring. It would have been a Super Bowl ring, but Ray Finkle missed the big kick. Blames the whole thing on Marino. We're talking mental institute escapee. I saw the guy's room. Cozy if you're Hannibal Lecter!
• Movie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Ace Ventura: Warning. Assholes are closer than they appear.
• Movie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Aguado: Homicide, Ventura. Now how ya gonna solve that one?
Ace Ventura: Good question, Aguado. First, I'd establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug's DICK and became insanely jealous. Then I'd lose 30 pounds... PORKIN' his wife.
• Movie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Ace Ventura: Excuse me, Ron, I need to use the bathroom.
[whispering loudly]
Ace Ventura: I think it's the pate.
Ronald Camp: Sure, right over there.
Ace Ventura: Thanks! Stuff probably looks better on the way out, huh?
• Movie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Man: [aggressively] What do you want?
Ace Ventura: HDS, sir, and how are you this afternoon? All righty, then. I have a package for you.
Man: Sounds broken.
Ace Ventura: Most likely, sir. I'll bet it was something nice, though.
• Movie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Ace Ventura: If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer.
• Movie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dan Marino: Hey Ace, got anymore of that gum?
Ace Ventura: That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs.
• Movie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Melissa: Hi, I'm Melissa Robinson.
Ace Ventura: Pleasure to meet you.
Melissa: Did you have any trouble getting in?
Ace Ventura: No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle.
• Movie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 48
