Ace Ventura: [bending over and talking from his behind] Excuse me. I'd like to "ass" you a few questions.Emilio: Ace, this is not the time. If Einhorn comes down here and sees me talking to you or your ass, I'm history.
• Movie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Lois Einhorn: What would you know about pressure.
Ace Ventura: Well, I have kissed a man.
• Movie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Ace Ventura: This is double-paned sound-proof glass. There is no way that neighbor could've heard Roger Podacter scream on the way down with that door shut. The scream she heard came from inside the apartment before he was thrown over the balcony and the murderer closed the door before he left. Yes. Yes. Oh, yeah. Can ya feel that, buddy? Huh? Huh? Huh?
[mimics Tangina character from Poltergeist movie]
Ace Ventura: I have exorcised the demons... this house is clear.
• Movie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Ace Ventura: [as Captain Kirk] Captain's Log, stardate 23.9, rounded off to the... nearest decimal point. We've... traveled back in time to save an ancient species from... total annihilation. SO FAR... no... signs of aquatic life, but I'm going to find it. If I have to tear this universe another black hole, I'm going to find it. I've... GOT TO, MISTER.
• Movie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Rating: 2.0 / 10 • Permalink
Melissa: Ace, Where are you?
Ace Ventura: I'm in Psychoville and Finkle's the Mayor.
• Movie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Woodstock: What's the password?
Ace Ventura: New England clam chowder.
Woodstock: Is that the red or the white?
Ace Ventura: Ah, I can never remember that. White.
[Door opens]
Ace Ventura: Yes.
• Movie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Lois Einhorn: Ventura, when I get out of that bathroom, you better be gone.
Ace Ventura: Is it number one or number two? I just want to know how much time I have.
• Movie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Lois Einhorn: Listen, pet d**k. How would you like me to make your life a living hell?
Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? All righty then.
• Movie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Melissa: You really love animals, don't you?
Ace Ventura: If it gets cold enough.
• Movie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Melissa: You know, you're just mad because your stupid little pebble theory didn't work out and you don't know how to express your anger.
Ace Ventura: Oh yeah? And you're ugly.
• Movie: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 48
